~lilith~MUSIC
A quiet day in the life of ADAM, A Distinctly Average Man. 
Until...
~adam~RIGHT
~lilith~LEFT
ADAM: Lilith Lilith Lilith look what I have!!!
LILITH: Aww, did you find a cheap plastic boomerang in the forest? Did you?? Who is a good boy??? 
ADAM: Yes! I can throw this plastic boomerang by pressing ’A’ and then a copy reappears in my hands!
ADAM: I got it from a weird old guy in the forest for ALL OF OUR MONEY!
LILITH: ...
LILITH: NO!! BAD BOY!!!
ADAM: I can finally have my dream adventure! Kill all the monsters!
LILITH: There are no monsters in this village, you idiot!
~lilith~EXIT
~villager~LEFT
~lilith~RIGHT
VILLAGER: Actually, I happen to be under attack by monsters.
LILITH: You don’t sound like it.
VILLAGER: -clears throat- ARGH! I am being attacked by monsters!!
ADAM: N I C E 
~none~INSTRUCTIONS
Kill ten enemies who are attacking the village!
~villageBattle~MUSIC
~none~NEXTLEVEL
~lilith~MUSIC
~adam~RIGHT
ADAM: I am Awesome!
~lilith~LEFT
LILITH: Where did the monsters come from?!
~adam~TURN
ADAM: I am a Defender!!
LILITH: Why did they attack us??!?
~adam~TURN
ADAM: I am an Action Man!!!
~adam~TURN
ADAM: !!!
~adam~TURN
ADAM: AWESOME DEFENDER ACTION MAN!!!
LILITH: Why did they conveniently leave money on the ground after being slain??
ADAM: Cool! Money! We can get more stuff from old weird forest dude!
~shop~MUSIC
~none~SAGE
~villageBattle~MUSIC
~villager~LEFT
~adam~RIGHT
VILLAGER: ADAM, quick! There are more of them!
~none~INSTRUCTIONS
Stop the goblins from destroying the village!
~none~NEXTLEVEL
~shop~MUSIC
~none~SAGE
~lilith~MUSIC
~lilith~LEFT
~adam~RIGHT
ADAM: Whew, who knew fighting monsters was so tiring!
LILITH: You did a super good job! Here, have a snack.
~adam~TURN
ADAM: -chomp-
~adam~TURN
ADAM: -munches happily-
~william~MUSIC
~william~LEFT
~lilith~EXIT
~lilith~RIGHT
WILLIAM: Sacrè Bleaoueux, you two saved my villàge! 
LILITH: Oh no our landlord! And we don’t have any money!
WILLIAM: Let me introduce le myself, I am William...
ADAM: -still munching- ’e kno’ hu yu awh.
WILLIAM: Cormanthor. . .
LILITH: You own the entire village and are the richest person ever.
WILLIAM: Salamancoliòn.  .   .
~villager~RIGHT
VILLAGER: Plus, there are like, only 4 people in this village...
WILLIAM: Shakespear!! And I want to hire you to investigate this attacks!
WILLIAM: And to protect my jewel that gives infinite wealth...
LILITH: Your what that what now.
WILLIAM: IT’S À SECRÈT!!!
ADAM: Maybe if I hit the monsters really hard they will give me hints!!
~villageBattle~MUSIC
~none~INSTRUCTIONS
Figure out what is going on by collecting ten hints! 
~none~NEXTLEVEL
~shop~MUSIC
~none~SAGE
~lilith~MUSIC
~lilith~RIGHT
~adam~RIGHT
~adam~TURN
LILITH: ...
LILITH: How did that even work...
ADAM: Well, Lilith, you have to hit the monsters really hard.
ADAM: And then hints come out!
LILITH: This game doesn’t make any sense.
~sage~LEFT
~adam~TURN
SAGE: For this many hints I can tell you this:
SAGE: These are clearly the pawns of the goblin king! 
SAGE: He lives in the mountains and loves money! 
SAGE: Something with money power must have awakened him...
LILITH: This game isn’t even trying anymore...
~william~LEFT
~sage~EXIT
WILLIAM: My jèwel! We need to go to my chàteaueux to protect it!
(after a few hours of travelling)
~mountain~MUSIC
~none~MAPCHANGE
WILLIAM: Almost there! 
ADAM: Oh no!! Tougher monsters!
~mountainBattle~MUSIC
~none~INSTRUCTIONS
Kill ten new enemies who are destroying the residency!
~none~NEXTLEVEL
~adam~RIGHT
~mountain~MUSIC
ADAM: I didn’t think it was possible, but I am starting to get tired of fighting monsters.
~lilith~RIGHT
LILITH: At least we made it to the castle!
~sage~LEFT
SAGE: I know what will cheer you up! Buy more stuff!!
~shop~MUSIC
~none~SAGE
~mountain~MUSIC
~sage~LEFT
~lilith~RIGHT
LILITH: Did you follow us all the way here?
SAGE: Of course! ADAM is my favourite costumer!
SAGE: ...my only costumer...
SAGE: ...ok people just don’t buy big deadly weapons like they used to.
LILITH: ok boomer.
~sage~EXIT
~william~LEFT
WILLIAM: ADAM, qÙick!! The goblìns are attacking again!
~mountainBattle~MUSIC
~none~INSTRUCTIONS
Stop the enemies from destroying the residency!
~none~NEXTLEVEL
~lilith~LEFT
~adam~RIGHT
~mountain~MUSIC
LILITH: They just keep coming...
ADAM: I really don’t like the zombies.
LILITH: Aw, do you want another treat?
ADAM: Yes, but don’t patronize me, I’m tired.
~adam~TURN
ADAM: -chomp-
~adam~TURN
ADAM: -munches but grumpily-
~lilith~EXIT
~sage~LEFT
SAGE: Buy stuff!!
~shop~MUSIC
~none~SAGE
~mountain~MUSIC
~lilith~RIGHT
~adam~RIGHT
~william~LEFT
WILLIAM: The jewel is still safe at least! Dieu mercì!
LILITH: So it just... creates wealth?
WILLIAM: Lòads of it! Look, just holding it in my hands made my pockets fill with coins!
LILITH: Interesting...
GOBLIN KING: BEHOLD MY ULTIMATE ONSLAUGHT!
ADAM: Ok, here I go again!
~mountainBattle~MUSIC
~none~INSTRUCTIONS
The Goblin King’s ultimate onslaught: Hold the residency! 
~none~NEXTLEVEL
~mountain~MUSIC
~adam~RIGHT
~lilith~LEFT
LILITH: The goblin king’s voice was coming from the mountains...
LILITH: He must be hiding in the caves!
ADAM: Maybe it’s time to stop being a defender and become an ATTACKER!
ADAM: Let’s go to the caves!
~sage~LEFT
~lilith~EXIT
SAGE: Before you go: BUY STUFF!!
~shop~MUSIC
~none~SAGE
~cave~MUSIC
~none~MAPCHANGE
~lilith~RIGHT
~adam~RIGHT
~william~LEFT
WILLIAM: ...
~william~TURN
WILLIAM: -looking back towards the castle-
WILLIAM: Oh dear, the goblins ruined my pretty walls!
~william~TURN
WILLIAM: ADAM could you be more careful next time, it’s marble!
ADAM: Just shut up, I bet you are not even french.
WILLIAM: !!! sàcre bleh !!!
LILITH: ADAM calm down now, you are a man, try not to be an ASSHOLE.
~adam~TURN
ADAM: Don’t tell me what to do!!
LILITH: So you would be an AWESOME ATTACKER ACTION ASSHOLE, or short-
WILLIAM: AAAA!
LILITH: Exactly!
WILLIAM: No I mean: AAAA! More enemies!
~caveBattle~MUSIC
~none~INSTRUCTIONS
Kill ten new enemies who are trying to stop you!
~none~NEXTLEVEL
~shop~MUSIC
~none~SAGE
~cave~MUSIC
~lilith~RIGHT
LILITH: Look! A door! 
~william~RIGHT
WILLIAM: Speak friend and enter? What does it mean?
~sage~RIGHT
SAGE: It is clearly a riddle!
LILITH: More like a franchise infringement.
WILLIAM: Curious... what does ’friend’ mean?
~adam~LEFT
ADAM: I don’t like riddles! Im going to shoot the door down!
~caveBattle~MUSIC
~none~INSTRUCTIONS
Destroy the heavy door to get to the Goblin King!
~none~NEXTLEVEL
~cave~MUSIC
~lilith~LEFT
~adam~RIGHT
LILITH: Good job! The door is down.
ADAM: Let’s go kick this guy’s butt!
ADAM: ...and then sleep forever... so tired...
~sage~LEFT
SAGE: You will need all the help you can buy!
~shop~MUSIC
~none~SAGE
~cave~MUSIC
~lilith~RIGHT
~william~LEFT
WILLIAM: AaAH! They are everywhere! Lilith, help me escape!
LILITH: Adam might need our help! He is fighting to protect us!
WILLIAM: ...
WILLIAM: You are right.
WILLIAM: That’s it, I get it know! This is what ’friends’ means! We help each other!
WILLIAM: The Goblin King is after the jewel, right?!
WILLIAM: YEET -yeets the jewel-
LILITH: Are you serious?
~lilith~EXIT
~william~EXIT
~adam~RIGHT
ADAM: AAAAAAAAAAAA!
~finalBattle~MUSIC
~none~INSTRUCTIONS
THE GOBLIN KING ! ! !
~none~NEXTLEVEL
~shop~MUSIC
~none~SAGE
~special~MAPCHANGE
~mainMenu~MUSIC
And so, as all adventures do, our story comes to an end.
The goblin king and his many pawns, who really should unionize, have been defeated.
And all our heroes arrived at the end of their own journey.
~lilith~RIGHT
~william~LEFT
WILLIAM: Adam, you made it! WE made it! 
LILITH: shhh... he is sleeping....
LILITH: I have never seen him this... chill.
~sage~LEFT
SAGE: Thank you all! I can finally retire with all the money you spent on this adventure.
LILITH: -hiding something in her pockets- Speaking of money, it is a real shame that your jewel got destroyed in the heat of battle.
LILITH: -pockets getting heavier- ...just so sad...
WILLIAM: It’s ok, I still own the entire villàege.
~adam~RIGHT
ADAM: -wakes up-!! I did it! 
ADAM: This was awesome!
LILITH: Yes you did!! Good boy!!!
LILITH: So, who are you? A defender? 
LILITH: Or an attacker?
ADAM: I think I will just be Adam for a while.
LILITH: Yeah: Amazing, Destructive, Annoying and Merry!
And so they went back home, tired but laughing, and richer than before:
With friends.
~credits~MAPCHANGE
bla