> Dear Miss Postnews:
>
> How long should my signature be?
>
> -- verbose@noisy

Dear Verbose:

Please try and make your signature as long as you can. It's much more
important than your article, of course, so try and have more lines of
signature than actual text.

Try and include a large graphic made of ASCII characters, plus lots of cute
quotes and slogans. People will never tire of reading these pearls of wisdom
again and again, and you will soon become personally associated with the joy
each reader feels at seeing yet another delightful repeat of your signature.

Be sure as well to include a complete map of USENET with each signature, to
show how anybody can get mail to you from any site in the world. Be sure to
include ARPA gateways as well. Also tell people on your own site how to mail
to you. Give independent addresses for Internet, UUCP, BITNET, Arpanet and
CSNET, even if they're all the same.

Aside from your reply address, include your full name, company and
organization. It's just common courtesy -- after all, in some newsreaders
people have to type an *entire* keystroke to go back to the top of your
article to see this information in the header.

By all means include your phone number and street address in every single
article. People are always responding to usenet articles with phone calls
and letters. It would be silly to go to the extra trouble of including this
information only in articles that need a response by conventional channels!

Em
